I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
