I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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