Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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