If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am one with the molecules
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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