Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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