Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
