it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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