3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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