once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
