when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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