haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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