puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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