I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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