Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
