hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
