They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
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