And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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