remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
