he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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