Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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