i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
