Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
