so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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