i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
