my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
time to smoke my breakfast
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Randomize
