Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
