I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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