Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
