I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
