talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
