i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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