I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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