i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
