It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
