I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
