i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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