Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
