I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
