There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
