Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
