i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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