I just pynch a tree in the face
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
