who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
only if we run a train.
done.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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