We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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