Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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