so explain again why im purple
no
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
PANTIES FOUND
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