you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
