i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
