capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
