You're so nebulous sometimes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
