There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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