im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
