i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
