OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
