but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
