dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
